Team at a Glance
What do they want?
To finally unleash their global superstars on the world stage without accidentally violating their strict, egalitarian snow-shovelling principles.
What are they strong at?
Unyielding, freezing-cold discipline, topped off with a terrifyingly large striker who treats opposing defenders like minor inconveniences.
What will they show?
Eighty-five minutes of deeply pragmatic, highly organized side-to-side shuffling, punctuated by five seconds of pure, unadulterated Viking violence.
Why are they as they are?
When you grow up playing inside synthetic domes to survive blizzards, you learn to value ruthless, mechanical efficiency.
What is a chance of getting title?
12%. Assuming their playmaker can thread the needle and their goal-machine doesn't just eat the actual match ball.